Saturday, March 30, 2013

Inside Jordan's Head

This book is going to be a major eyeopener to many readers, so today I thought I would give you a peek inside Jordan's head by posting the book's opening

February 25, 2013
When I look back on my life, it is a miracle that I made it through all that happened. It seems like a nightmare I've barely woken from. The faces and places are still fresh in my mind, the shades and colors as vivid as ever. The sights and smells come back at times, drawing my thoughts back to days long gone, times never to be revisited.
I have talked about my life before, but not in this much depth, and not with my family. Friends are appalled by the events I have shared, and other friends I have known for years wonder why I've never opened up before this. My answer is always, “I never wanted pity because there are so many others who have probably experienced worse things.”
There have been many closet doors in my life that have hidden many things, and I managed to walk through them all, struggling to leave the painful experiences that lay behind them, experiences shrouded in darkness, hidden from the eyes of those who would clearly see them for what they were, and clearly see me for what I was.
To this day, there are moments when the flashbacks that occur are so strong, I literally lose control of my bodily functions. If I am standing in the grocery store and see a small child angrily chastised or hear a family yelling, or watch the news and a child has been kidnapped, raped, or murdered, it takes me back to those dark days. The shame and embarrassment I feel at these times is overwhelming. I see a therapist regularly. I take prescribed anxiety medication during the day and sleeping medication at night just to function. It is the only way I can live some semblance of a normal life.
However, one thing above all helps me through each new day. And that is my knowledge that no matter how rough it gets or how abandoned I still feel at times, God is there, the Savior is with me, and as long as I hold to the light, I will never be alone again.
So now everything is out in the open, never again to be shut away, covered or hidden. There are no more secrets, no animosity or anger; there is only the sweet peace of healing and knowing that the old life of my memories is no longer mine, that those burdens are no longer mine. Someone else carries them now.
And I can go on.

A little about Out of the Closet Into the Light
After living a life of abuse, abandonment and homosexuality, Jordan Jantz made the ultimate choice. Leaving his old life behind, Jordan came to know and understand God's love for him, as well as discover his own part in the eternal plan.
But this book isn't just about his Christian conversion and lifestyle change, it is also about all the things he suffered that helped to bring him to this point. It's about everything he was, everything he is, and everything he is on his way to becoming.
Simply put, this is the story of his journey from the painful, cold darkness into the light.

A portion of the proceeds from Out of the Closet Into the Light will be donated to The Christmas Box International to support abused and neglected children.


  1. I'm happy that you are writing this amazing story about Jordan. I'm very much looking forward to getting it on Kindle. I prefer paperbacks for reading, but I don't want to wait until that comes out. Also, when it's in paperback, I'll find it easier to share with friends (because I can hand it to them.) In the mean time, I have to settle with telling people about it and sending them to Kindle.
    Thank you sooooo much for what you are doing for abused and abandoned children (who will become big people if they survive the abuse).

  2. When I met Jordan I immediately felt that he has a special role to play in bringing the truth to light. I am looking forward to Jewel's interpretation of Jordan's biography. I really appreciate portions of the proceeds going to such a worthy cause. Sending lots of hope and love to Jordan & Jewel in their endeavors with this book.